A marriage is like a marathon with a difference. In a marathon, the objective is to be ahead of your fellow runners. But in a marriage you want to be shoulder-to-shoulder with your partner, not ahead and not behind. And ideally, there would be no finish line. You just keep running until ...
Okay, let me get to the point.
Before this year ends, I'll be marking my 25th wedding anniversary. This has been a remarkable journey. There have been ups and downs, however we both survived. The credit goes to my better-half -- only she could put up for this long with a duffer like me. I've been reflecting on my life for the last few days and wondering where did I go right to be blessed with a beautiful wife, two wonderful kids and scores of family and friends!!!
I thank the Almighty for the many blessings bestowed upon us and look forward to the next 25 years ahead of us, inshaallah.
My advice to young couples who are just starting is to remember this: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is husband!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Monday, December 25, 2006
Mil Specs
How Military Specifications Live for Ever
The U.S. standard railroad gauge (distance between rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and the U.S. railroads were built by English expatriates.
Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.
Why did “they” use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long-distance roads, because that’s the spacing of the old wheel ruts.
So who built these old rutted roads? The first long-distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts? The initial ruts which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons were first made by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for or by Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
Thus, we have the answer to the original question. The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification (military spec)for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Military specs and bureaucracies live forever.
So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse’s ass came up with it, you may be exactly right. The Imperial Roman chariots were made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.
The U.S. standard railroad gauge (distance between rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and the U.S. railroads were built by English expatriates.
Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.
Why did “they” use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long-distance roads, because that’s the spacing of the old wheel ruts.
So who built these old rutted roads? The first long-distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts? The initial ruts which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons were first made by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for or by Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
Thus, we have the answer to the original question. The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification (military spec)for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Military specs and bureaucracies live forever.
So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse’s ass came up with it, you may be exactly right. The Imperial Roman chariots were made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
O Canada!
Shared with friends in October 2003 ...
O Canada!
The Pope and I have something in common. No, it is not the
size of the crowds John Paul and I attract. It is the fact
that we both are celebrating 25th anniversaries this month.
He just celebrated his 25 years on the throne and this week
I am celebrating my 25 years in Canada.
Hard to imagine that it was 25 years ago that I landed at
Toronto airport to start a new life. It was October 31,
1978. The first thing I noticed that evening was weird
looking people on the street going door to door. I thought,
great! I'll fit in here nicely. My hopes were dashed as I
learnt later that these were normal people wearing masks and
costumes as part of some ancient annual ritual to give economic
boost to the candy industry.
The first few years were interesting when I was struggling
to cope with the weather, the accent, both Canadian (eh?)
and mine (unh?), upside down light switches, buying three
bottles of coke every time there was a sale with limit of
three per customer, even though I did not actually need any.
These marketing people really know how to work on the new
comers.
Then there was this constant correcting of Canadian people
that I am not an Indian and then trying to explain them the
perennial animosity between India and Pakistan. It was
during one such occasion that a colleague of mine said, "the
fighting between India and Pakistan over Kashmir is like two
bald men fighting for a comb!!!"
I started out with nothing and still have most of it.
Actually after 25 years, I am quite content with what I have
(or don't have) in terms of health, wealth, happiness,
career, life, and hair on my head, etc. I have though
noticed a disturbing trend in recent years. Not a day goes
by when I am not reminded, through my e-mail in-box, about
my anatomical inadequacies. Then they offer me low cost
mail-order degrees and diplomas as if this is exactly why I
did not get that CEO job. If this was not enough, they also
offer me to solve all my debt and financial problems. Come
to think of it, going through my inbox is as depressing as
listening to Donald Rumsfeld.
My only regret is that Canadians did not recognize my full
potential. The only people who know my real worth are
Nigerians. They trust me with their millions more than Bank
of Montreal will do with their pen, which they tightly
secure with a chain!!!
Am I wiser after all these years? Well, I found that it is
easier to get older than it is to get wiser. And when I
finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart!
O Canada!
The Pope and I have something in common. No, it is not the
size of the crowds John Paul and I attract. It is the fact
that we both are celebrating 25th anniversaries this month.
He just celebrated his 25 years on the throne and this week
I am celebrating my 25 years in Canada.
Hard to imagine that it was 25 years ago that I landed at
Toronto airport to start a new life. It was October 31,
1978. The first thing I noticed that evening was weird
looking people on the street going door to door. I thought,
great! I'll fit in here nicely. My hopes were dashed as I
learnt later that these were normal people wearing masks and
costumes as part of some ancient annual ritual to give economic
boost to the candy industry.
The first few years were interesting when I was struggling
to cope with the weather, the accent, both Canadian (eh?)
and mine (unh?), upside down light switches, buying three
bottles of coke every time there was a sale with limit of
three per customer, even though I did not actually need any.
These marketing people really know how to work on the new
comers.
Then there was this constant correcting of Canadian people
that I am not an Indian and then trying to explain them the
perennial animosity between India and Pakistan. It was
during one such occasion that a colleague of mine said, "the
fighting between India and Pakistan over Kashmir is like two
bald men fighting for a comb!!!"
I started out with nothing and still have most of it.
Actually after 25 years, I am quite content with what I have
(or don't have) in terms of health, wealth, happiness,
career, life, and hair on my head, etc. I have though
noticed a disturbing trend in recent years. Not a day goes
by when I am not reminded, through my e-mail in-box, about
my anatomical inadequacies. Then they offer me low cost
mail-order degrees and diplomas as if this is exactly why I
did not get that CEO job. If this was not enough, they also
offer me to solve all my debt and financial problems. Come
to think of it, going through my inbox is as depressing as
listening to Donald Rumsfeld.
My only regret is that Canadians did not recognize my full
potential. The only people who know my real worth are
Nigerians. They trust me with their millions more than Bank
of Montreal will do with their pen, which they tightly
secure with a chain!!!
Am I wiser after all these years? Well, I found that it is
easier to get older than it is to get wiser. And when I
finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart!
Sunday, December 10, 2006
103 Percent
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.
What makes life 100%?
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
K N O W L E D G E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
H A R D W O R K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
But,
A T T I T U D E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B U L L S H I T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, and bullshit will put you over the top!!!
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.
What makes life 100%?
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
K N O W L E D G E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
H A R D W O R K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
But,
A T T I T U D E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B U L L S H I T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, and bullshit will put you over the top!!!
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